Work & Office Dad Jokes

Nurse: "There’s a man in the waiting room who keeps saying that he’s invisible."

Doctor: "Oh, not him again. Tell him I can’t see him today."

I used to be a banker.

But I lost interest.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

Now I'm a baker — I knead the dough.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

Why did the man bring a plant to the meeting?

He wanted to branch out.

I used to be a personal trainer.

Then I gave my two weak notice.

I just got a new job at a bakery.

I really knead the dough.

Why did the man bring a parachute to the office?

In case the market crashed.

Why did the man bring a pillow to the meeting?

In case it was a board meeting.

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

He couldn't concentrate.

Why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

Why did the nurse need a red pen?

In case she needed to draw blood.

Why did the broom get a promotion?

It swept the boss off their feet.

Why did the barber win the race?

Because he took a short cut.

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

I just got a job at a bakery.

I knead the dough.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker?

He was outstanding in his field.

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory.

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory?

He wasn't putting in enough shifts.

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory.

You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

I'm friends with all electricians.

We have good current connections.

I used to be a banker.

But I lost interest.

Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

Why did the janitor get promoted?

Because he was sweeping the competition.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.