Animals Jokes
From elephants to chickens — the animal kingdom has never been funnier.
133 jokes in this category
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can garden?"
A lawn moo-er.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can write?"
A moo-thor.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can read?"
A moo-k worm.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can fly?"
High steaks.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can swim?"
A moo-rine.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can drive?"
A moo-ving vehicle.
"I'm no cheetah."
You're lion.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can paint?"
A moo-sterpiece.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can sing?"
A moo-sical.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can dance?"
A moo-ver.
"What do you call a cow that can surf?"
A moo-ve maker.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that plays video games?"
A moo-ver and shaker.
"I told my cat a joke."
It was not amewsed.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?"
De-calf-inated.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?"
An udder failure.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can do magic?"
Moo-dini.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can't stop laughing?"
A laughing stock.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow with two legs shorter than the others?"
Lean beef.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?"
A moo-sician.
"What do you call a dog that's been out in the cold?"
A pupsicle.
"What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?"
A Labracadabrador.
"What do you call a cow in an earthquake?"
A milkshake.
"What do you call a bear with no socks on?"
Bare-foot.
"What do you call a cow that just gave birth?"
De-calf-inated.
"What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?"
A pouch potato.
"What do you call a dog that does math?"
A count hound.
"What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?"
Purr-suasive.
"What do you call a cow that can't moo?"
A milk dud.
"What do you call a sleeping bull?"
A bulldozer.
"What do you call a monkey in a minefield?"
A baboom.
"What do you call a cow that eats your grass?"
A lawn moo-er.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cat that eats lemons?"
A sour puss.
"What do you call a bird that's afraid to fly?"
Chicken.
"What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes?"
A funny bunny.
"What do you call a dog in the winter?"
A chili dog.
"What do you call a cow with no legs?"
Ground beef.
"What do you call a horse that lives next door?"
A neigh-bor.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a dog that does science experiments?"
A Lab.
"What do you call a cat that bowls?"
An alley cat.
"What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie?"
So-fish-ticated.
"What do you call a cow on a trampoline?"
A milkshake.
"What do you call a penguin in the desert?"
Lost.
"What do you call a fish with no eyes?"
A fsh.
"What do you call a sleeping lizard?"
A calm-eleon.
"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?"
Because they lactose.
"I just watched a documentary about beavers."
It was the best dam show I ever saw.
"What do you call a cow with a twitch?"
Beef jerky.
"What do you call a pig that does karate?"
A pork chop.
"What do you call a cow that just had a baby?"
De-calf-inated.
"What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?"
An irrelephant.
"What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a cat on the beach?"
Sandy Claws.
"What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?"
A Bronto-snorus.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a rabbit with fleas?"
Bugs Bunny.
"What do you call a pile of kittens?"
A meow-ntain.
"What do you call a magic dog?"
A Labracadabrador.
"I asked my dog what's two minus two."
He said nothing.
"What do you call a horse that lives next door?"
A neigh-bor.
"What do you call a cat that was caught by the police?"
The purrpetrator.
"What do you call a pig that does karate?"
A pork chop.
"What do you call a cow during an earthquake?"
A milkshake.
"What do you call a dog that does magic?"
A Labracadabrador.
"What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?"
A boa constructor.
"What do you call a baby monkey?"
A chimp off the old block.
"What do you call a fly without wings?"
A walk.
"What do you call a penguin in the Sahara?"
Lost.
"What do you call a bear with no ears?"
B.
"What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?"
A pouch potato.
"What did the fish say when it hit the wall?"
Dam.
"What do you call a sleeping bull?"
A bull-dozer.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call birds that stick together?"
Vel-crows.
"What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat?"
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A stega-snore-us.
"What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?"
A maybe.
"What do you call a fish that practices medicine?"
A sturgeon.
"What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?"
An alley-gator.
"Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea?"
To go with the jellyfish.
"What do you call a dog magician?"
A Labracadabrador.
"What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?"
A dino-snore.
"What do you call a pile of cats?"
A meow-ntain.
"What do you call a bear caught in the rain?"
A drizzly bear.
"What do you call a pony with a sore throat?"
A little hoarse.
"What do you call a toothless bear?"
A gummy bear.
"What do you call a sleeping bull?"
A bulldozer.
"What do you call a pig that knows karate?"
A pork chop.
"Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?"
Because it was a little horse.
"What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?"
Bison.
"Why can't a leopard hide?"
Because he's always spotted.
"What do you call a duck that gets all A's?"
A wise quacker.
"What's a cat's favorite color?"
Purr-ple.
"Why do bees have sticky hair?"
Because they use honeycombs.
"What do you call a group of disorganized cats?"
A cat-astrophe.
"How do you catch a squirrel?"
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
"What do you call a lazy kangaroo?"
A pouch potato.
"Why do chicken coops only have two doors?"
Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans.
"What do you get from a pampered cow?"
Spoiled milk.
"Why don't elephants use computers?"
Because they're afraid of the mouse.
"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
Lean beef.
"What do you call a cow with no legs?"
Ground beef.
"How does a penguin build its house?"
Igloos it together.
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?"
A dino-snore.
"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?"
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
"What do you call a fish without eyes?"
A fsh.
"Why do cows wear bells?"
Because their horns don't work.
"Why don't oysters share their pearls?"
Because they're shellfish.
"What do you call an alligator in a vest?"
An investigator.
"What do you call two birds in love?"
Tweethearts.
"What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?"
A Labracadabrador.
"What do you call a bear with no teeth?"
A gummy bear.