Wordplay Jokes
Pure puns and wordplay. The finest form of comedy, according to Dawayne.
51 jokes in this category
"George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie. Clooney says, "I'll direct." DiCaprio says, "I'll act.""
McConaughey says, "I'II write, I'll write, I'll write."
"What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?"
Ilene.
"What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?"
Russell.
"What do you call a woman standing on one leg?"
Eileen.
"What do you call a man hanging on the wall?"
Art.
"What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs?"
Bob.
"What do you call a man lying on your doorstep?"
Matt.
"I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants."
Feefiphobia.
"What do you call a man without a shovel in his head?"
Douglas.
"What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?"
Doug.
"What do you call a man who can't stand?"
Neil.
"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet."
I don't know Y.
"I tried to catch fog yesterday."
I mist.
"What do you call a sleeping bag?"
A nap sack.
"What do you call a shoe made of a banana?"
A slipper.
"What do you call a sleeping bag?"
A nap sack.
"What do you call a man with no body and no nose?"
Nobody knows.
"What do you call a lazy person in Japan?"
Japanapping.
"What do you call a fake stone?"
A shamrock.
"What do you call a belt made out of watches?"
A waist of time.
"What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?"
A thesaurus.
"Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?"
He was stuck in a vicious cycle.
"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?"
Cliff.
"What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?"
A slipper.
"What do you call a factory that sells passable products?"
A satisfactory.
"Why did the invisible man turn down the job?"
He couldn't see himself doing it.
"What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?"
A can't opener.
"What do you call a hippie's wife?"
Mississippi.
"What do you call a funny mountain?"
Hill-arious.
"What do you call a shoe made of a banana?"
A slipper.
"Why did the bicycle fall over?"
Because it was two-tired.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?"
Still no idea.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?"
No idea.
"I'm afraid for the calendar."
Its days are numbered.
"What do you call a magician who lost their magic?"
Ian.
"What do you call a dinosaur that crashes their car?"
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
"I have a joke about paper."
Never mind, it's tearable.
"Why did the gym close down?"
It just didn't work out.
"What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?"
A barber-queue.
"I have a joke about chemistry."
But I don't think it will get a reaction.
"Why did the old man fall in the well?"
Because he couldn't see that well.
"What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?"
An abdominal snowman.
"I used to play piano by ear."
Now I use my hands.
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe?"
Roberto.
"I have a joke about time travel."
But you didn't like it.
"I told my suitcases there will be no vacation this year."
Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
"What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?"
A receding hare-line.
"I'm so good at sleeping."
I can do it with my eyes closed.
"Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?"
He just needed a little space.
"I used to be a personal trainer."
Then I gave my too weak notice.
"What do you call a belt made of watches?"
A waist of time.